


Unsuitable

by Isa_Iadel



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bigotry & Prejudice, Bonding, Charles is Sad, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is not a Happy Bunny, Happy Ending, M/M, Poor Erik, Protective Raven, Racist Language, Sentinel/Guide, Sentinel/Guide Bonding, animal guardians, bonding interference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-07 22:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8817757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isa_Iadel/pseuds/Isa_Iadel
Summary: Years after being declared unsuitable for his guide-match, Sentinel Erik Lehnsherr accidentally encountered the man again.  He can't deny that Charles Xavier is a promising ally, but he can't forgive him either.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please read: this story contains elements of bigotry and prejudice (not on the part of any of the main characters). It occurs in the prologue and is discussed again later in the story.

[Collages on Tumblr ](http://isa-iadel.tumblr.com/post/154335803724/new-story-unsuitable)

Unsuitable

Prologue

Barely five minutes into the meeting, Erik Lehnsherr realized it wasn’t going well. The mere thought of it not going well left him with a feeling like his heart was lodged in his throat, but the meeting surged forward like an unavoidable train wreck and he couldn’t find a way to change course. His red panda animal guardian had appeared, curled in his lap, and her presence helped keep his impatience in check. She had a lot of practice at soothing him.

The introductions had been full of self-importance. The legal guardian of his Guide was apparently wealthy and important, despite that he was mundane. The Alpha Sentinel and Guide pair for Westchester County were a sneering, arrogant pair. Despite that they should have facilitated the meeting and offered support, they simply leaned back in their chairs and let Kurt Marko control the tone of the meeting. It had Erik off balanced from the beginning.

“I understand that you’re German,” Mr. Marko began once the barest of pleasantries had been exchanged.

“Yes,” Erik replied.

“But you’ve spent significant time in the United Kingdom.”

“Yes,” he repeated.

Mr. Marko made sound of disingenuous thoughtfulness, “What brought you to the UK?”

Erik stared at him for a long moment. He pressed his fingers into the fur around the red panda’s neck, “I went there after the war.”

“Indeed?” his voice was full of surprise. “You must have been very young, Mr. Lehnsherr. Did your parents accompany you?”

“No. Neither of them survived the war.”

“I see. I see,” he said. “So sorry to hear that, of course.”

“Of course,” Erik echoed the clearly obligatory platitude. He glanced at the Alpha Sentinel and Guide pair, but they continued to look completely disinterested. One of them yawned, barely bothering to stifle it. Erik turned his attention back to Mr. Marko. “Perhaps you would tell me about my Guide match?”

Mr. Marko’s lips tightened.

Erik spoke again when the man did not reply to his inquiry. “How old is he? What are his interests?”

“He’s seventeen,” Mr. Marko replied.

“When is his birthday?”

“In two months,” Mr. Marko replied and Erik was relieved. His Guide was younger, but not so much younger that their introduction would need to be significantly postponed. The years between them seemed easily surmountable. And for all of his impatience with finding a Guide, now that he actually had a Guide match Erik felt himself feeling calm and not particularly rushed. There was time. Two months was nothing, and Erik had no problem accepting supervised meetings if his Guide or the Guide’s family preferred that until he was of age.

“And his opinion on our match? Does he prefer to wait to be introduced?”

Mr. Marko ignored the question, “And what is your profession, Sentinel Lehnsherr?”

Erik considered pressing for an answer, but hesitated. Mr. Marko was smarmy and odious, but perhaps a pretense of politeness would better serve him in the long run. “I have a degree in mathematics.”

“Are you currently employed?”

“I’m a teacher,” he replied. “Isn’t this information in packet the Sentinel Guide Center sent? I submitted all the usual paperwork when I was notified of the match.” He gestured at opened folder on the table in front of the other man.

“Of course, of course,” Mr. Marko said easily. “Where do you teach?”

“I teach at a private high school in the city.”

Mr. Marko turned his attention to the folder, “A private Jewish high school.” There was nothing but vaguely polite disinterest in his tone, but the question still threw him. There was nothing in his expression or tone, but Erik could still feel the distaste coming from the other man. The metal in the room hummed and Erik twisted his hands against his pants to prevent himself from pulling it towards him. The red panda shifted, her paws against the edge of the table so she could look over it at the man. Mr. Marko looked up after a moment, “Sentinel Lehnsherr?”

Erik nodded, “Yes.”

“And you yourself are in fact Jewish?”

“Excuse me?”

“And you yourself are in fact Jewish?” Mr. Marko repeated, as though there was nothing unusual about the line of questioning and perhaps Erik simply hadn’t heard him the first time.

“Yes.”

“And you claim that you were in Auschwitz?”

The sentence ricocheted around his mind. The sound of Mr. Marko saying the word ‘claim’ echoed around his brain. The red panda made a sort of growling noise, stopping only when Erik spoke.

“I was there,” he managed. He took a long moment to reevaluate Mr. Marko. He’d never heard of the man before being Guide matched with his son and it seemed that not making the time to investigate him had possibly been a misstep. Marko’s name had never appeared on any of Erik’s lists, but his focus had always been on actual Nazi’s and not sympathizers. He wondered, as he stared at Mr. Marko, if perhaps that had been an oversight.

“And you also claim to be a Mutant.”

It took Erik a moment to realize that the question hadn’t come from Mr. Marko. He turned his attention to the Alpha Sentinel and Guide pair, “I am a Mutant.”

“Yet common knowledge tells us those two things are mutual exclusive,” the Guide commented idly.

“Do you deny that I am a Sentinel?” Erik asked sharply.

“I do not,” the Guide replied.

“So you deny that I am Mutant?”

“As I said,” the Guide repeated, “To be a Sentinel and to be a Mutant are mutually exclusive. There has never before been an overlap.”

“That you know of,” Erik corrected, though it was something he’d wondered about before. Was he the first? And if so, why him? Why now? Placing his elbows on the table, Erik crooked his index and middle finger. The necklace the man wore to identify himself as a Guide twitched and rose. Everyone startled, attention drawn to the movement. Erik tugged on the metal of the necklace, ceasing only when the Sentinel barred his teeth in a silent warning. He let the necklace drop and the Guide, discomforted, tucked it under his shirt. He smiled at the action, wide and amused, but careful to keep it non-threatening.

“How….unusual,” the Guide commented after a long moment.

Mr. Marko interrupted the silence. “Just a few more things to verify.”

Erik said nothing. He already knew that there was nothing to say. Mr. Marko had made up his mind before meeting him and all that was left was to simply endure him in the hopes that his son wouldn’t be cut from the same cloth. The mere thought that the Guide might be, made Erik’s insides freeze, but he had to hope. The red panda turned her attention back to him, stretching up to press her nose against his neck. It was an old habit of hers and it never failed to sooth him.

“Is it true that you have a non-familial unbound Guide in your pack?”

“It’s just the two of us, so calling it a pack is probably a bit of stretch,” Erik admitted. “But yes.”

“And what is your relationship to this Guide?”

“He’s a member of my pack. I don’t understand the question,” Erik said slowly.

“What is his purpose in your pack?” he asked.

“His purpose?” Erik echoed. “I don’t understand the question. He’s a member of my pack.” Erik kept his face a mask of polite confusion. He fully understood the implication of the question, that a non-familial unbound Guide under his protection was someone for him to sate himself with until he found his real Guide. It was a common accusation hurled by mundanes and since he doubted he could get away with punching Mr. Marko in the face, Erik simply pretended he didn’t understand the implication.

“How did he earn his place in your pack? What do you require of him?”

“What?” Erik asked. “I don’t follow. He’s just a member of my pack.”

“How did you meet?”

“We met in Europe during the War,” Erik said slowly. “I don’t understand the purpose of these questions.”

“What’s his name?”

“I’m not required to disclose the names of individuals in my pack,” Erik replied.

“You’re refusing to give his name?” Mr. Marko inquired.

Erik looked at the Alpha Sentinel, but the other man simply met his gaze. Erik held it, waiting for him to interject. But the man kept quiet, and said nothing about Mr. Marko’s inappropriate line of inquiry.

“I’m not giving you his name,” Erik said. “I’m not required to and it’s not relevant to our discussion.”

“I must insist.”

“I will not give his name.”

“Very well,” he replied. “Do you have any children, Sentinel Lehnsherr?”

He clenched his teeth, “I had a daughter.”

“With a mundane?”

He nodded.

“A mundane you felt a reproductive drive towards?”

“No,” Erik said.

The Guide leaned forward, “You reproduced with a woman who was not your Guide and who you felt no reproductive drive towards?”

“Yes.”

“Were you married to this woman?” Mr. Marko inquired and by his tone Erik could tell that he already knew the answer.

“No.”

“I see. And what happened to your daughter?”

“She died.” The red panda remained pressed close to him. He took a moment to brush his hand over her head, offering her some comfort in return. She’d considered Anya her child as much as Erik’s and had been so wounded by her death that Erik had feared the red panda would disconnect and follow her.

“My condolences, of course,” Mr. Marko said.

Erik kept quiet, head bowed and hands pressed against the red panda. He kept one hand on her torso and gripped the arm of the chair with the other. He pushed his fingers down and into the metal of the chair as he tried to calm himself.

“Is it true that your own negligence contributed to her death?”

“No,” Erik whispered. “I didn’t-”

“Is it not true that you told a German first responder that you should have been in the house with her? That if you hadn’t stepped outside to speak with a neighbor, you would have been able to get her out alive? That she died because you left her alone and unsupervised?”

“I don’t know,” Erik whispered.

“Are you claiming you didn’t say that?” Mr. Marko demanded.

“I said that,” he rasped, his attention still glued to the table.

“One final question,” he said. “Is it true that the mother of your bastard daughter was a gypsy?”

“Romani.”

“Excuse me?” Mr. Marko said.

Erik gave up on the pretense that he was unaffected, “I believe the word you are looking for is Romani. And I’ll thank you to speak of her and our late daughter with respect.”

Mr. Marko offered a smile of polite confusion, “Have I offended you, Sentinel Lehnsherr?”

“You know very well that you have. I will not sit here and suffer your insults. There is no part of my heritage and no part of my child that I will apologize for. I have answered you candidly, now I hope you will afford me the same.”

He offered an indulgent smirk, “By all means.”

“Why did you come to this meeting without my Guide match?”

He blinked, “Sentinel Lehnsherr, are you still under the impression that the purpose of this meeting is to facilitate a bond between you and my son?”

Erik stared at him.

Mr. Marko turned his attention to the Alpha pair. “I believe that I have sufficiently demonstrated the five points of incompatibility in order to refuse the match. Sentinel Lehnsherr is unsuitable for my son.” He held up a finger, “Sentinel Lehnsherr is a Jew. My son is a good boy from a good Christian family.”

Erik exhaled sharply, but none of them paid him any mind. The Guide nodded for him to continue.

He held up a second finger. “Sentinel Lehnsherr claims to be a detainee of Auschwitz as part of a political conspiracy to demonize the German government during the War.”

The Sentinel spoke, “Mr. Marko, kindly keep your unsubstantiated conspiracy theories to yourself.”

“Regardless,” the Guide said after a moment, “It cannot be dismissed that it would be unethical to expose a young Guide to the trauma surely lingering in Sentinel Lehnsherr’s mind. Mr. Marko, you may continue.”

“Third,” he said, “Sentinel Lehnsherr has demonstrated that he is a mutant. That is unnatural. We cannot know what that means or how it will influence how he perceives his responsibilities to his Guide.”

The Guide nodded in agreement.

“Four, Sentinel Lehnsherr admitted to being in a relationship with a female gypsy. That he would chose to take up with a woman who was not his Guide and to whom he felt no reproductive drive, and a woman who is no better than a tramp and a vagabond is very telling about his character and his morals.”

“I agree.”

“And finally, though the child is deceased, it cannot be ignored that he had a child out of wedlock.”

“Do you have any defense to offer, Sentinel Lehnsherr?” the Guide asked after a long moment.

“Do you honestly expect me to offer a defense to these charges? I’m not ashamed of my background or my faith. I’m not damaged because I was a prisoner at Auschwitz. I’m certainly not ashamed of being a Mutant. If anything, my power over metal is just another gift that can be utilized in the protection of my Guide. I will not apologize for my relationship with Magda. Nor I am ashamed of our daughter. She wasn’t planned, but she was loved. She was loved,” he spat, “And had she lived, she would have been brilliant. The fact that you consider that she came into this world out of wedlock as somehow damning of her or me or her mother is an indictment of no one’s flaws except your own. You are backwards, medieval, Holocaust denying, Nazi sympathizing, anti-Semitic, racist piece of shit, Mr. Marko. You can take your demonstration of incompatibility and choke on it.”

“Well….” The Guide began.

“I ask only for the chance to meet my Guide match so that we may determine our compatibility for ourselves,” Erik interrupted.

“The outcome of such a meeting would be no different than the outcome of his meeting,” Mr. Marko said, but his impassive mask had been replaced by scorn.

“Mr. Marko has the right to refuse on behalf of his minor son,” the Guide said. “And the concerns he raised are valid. I can see no reason to dismiss any of the points of incompatibility he offered.”

“We could-”

“Sentinel Lehnsherr, you are unsuitable,” the Guide said.

“Please,” he said quietly, though it gutted him to have to plead with the likes of the men in the room. “I just want to meet him.”

“My son doesn’t want to meet you,” Mr. Marko said easily. “You have nothing to offer him but shame. You would be nothing but a burden to him.”

“No,” Erik disagreed. But there was truth in the words he said. He wasn’t lying. His Guide match didn’t want to meet him.

The Sentinel sighed, but stood, “Sentinel Lehnsherr, you are unsuitable.”

Erik wanted to throw up. The knowledge that his Guide match didn’t want to meet him kept him too tangled up in hurt to offer a reply.

“On behalf of your Guide match, I refuse you. You are not to seek him out or circumvent our judgement.”

Erik closed his eyes tightly.

“And I ban you from my territory, the entirely of Westchester County.”

Erik barely remembered the trip back to the city. It was a blur.

He stumbled into his own apartment, the red panda on his heels and would have collapsed on his couch if it hadn’t already been occupied. The man grinned and jumped to his feet, waving a letter- the letter from the Sentinel Guide Center notifying him he had a Guide match.

“Why didn’t you get in touch with me?” Leo shook his head, “Never mind!” He took Erik by the shoulders and pushed him towards the couch. “Tell me everything!” He blinked when Erik merely dropped into the couch. “Erik?”

“It didn’t go well.”

“Why?” Leo asked quietly. “What happened?”

“I was deemed unsuitable,” Erik whispered.

“What?” Leo demanded.

Erik blinked and rubbed his eyes, “It doesn’t… I can’t talk about it. Not yet.”

“Erik,” Leo said softly. “I’m sorry.”

Erik shook his head, “What are you doing in New York? I thought you had a lead in Europe?”

Leo hesitated.

“What?” Erik prompted. “Is it bad news? It doesn’t matter. Anything is better than thinking about this.”

“Erik,” Leo cautioned. “It’s… I found something. A photograph.”

“A photograph?” He titled his head. “That’s a bit outside your normal purview, isn’t it?”

Leo removed an enveloped from his pocket and handed it to Erik. “I hope I’m wrong about this.”

Erik opened the envelope and removed a photograph. He stared at it. The hurt and the grief he felt turned to sharp rage.

“Please tell me I’m wrong about this.”

“This must be an old photograph.”

“It’s not. I wouldn’t just give it to you unless I was sure. Its two months old. Please tell me I’m wrong about this.”

“You’re not wrong. It’s him,” Erik whispered. “That’s Klaus Schmidt.” 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Part 1

In the years since his Guide match had rejected him as unsuitable, Erik Lehnsherr had fully devoted himself to finding Klaus Schmidt and killing every Nazi he encountered during that process. His need for revenge kept him from being despondent or being overwhelmed with rage. He didn’t exactly take pleasure from it, but there was a certain sense of satisfaction. He was content with his actions. He became fairly well known in certain circles, the Nazi hunting Mutant Sentinel, but still managed to keep a low enough profile that his targets never saw him coming until it was too late.

Leo had, of course, tried to come with him. Erik had allowed it for a time. Leo had no qualms about Erik’s activities, but his own expertise and interests lay elsewhere and Erik couldn’t keep it from him long-term. Leo was fairly tolerant of violence for a Guide, but Erik couldn’t bring himself to keep the man with him. So Leo went back to his life of light-fingered re-acquisitions and return of things that had been appropriated during the War, and Erik did his level best to murder every Nazi still left breathing as he searched for Schmidt.

And then one day he threw himself into the water in an attempt to stop a submarine, and suddenly there was another.

_You can’t. You’ll drown._

Surrounded by water and the feeling of the increasing distance between himself and the submarine, it took Erik a moment to realize that he was no longer alone. There was another, behind him, arms around him and desperately trying to pull him to the surface.

_You have to let go._

But all Erik could think of was Schmidt.

_I know what this means to you, but you’re going to die. Please, Erik. Calm your mind._

By the time they broke the surface, Erik was aware enough to understand that the man had spoken to him in his mind. In all his travels, he’d never met a Mutant like the man before him.

“You were in my mind. Who are you?!” he demanded, shouting over sounds of the rough waves.

“I’m like you!” he replied. “But my power is that of the mind.”

By the time they got back up on the ship, Erik couldn’t take his eyes off the other man. He wanted to lean against him and sink into him. The telepath stared back, equally entranced. Everything else had faded to the background and Erik simply stared at him. He felt himself beginning to smile.

“Erik,” the man murmured softly. He took a step closer and pressed a hand against his chest.

Erik sighed softly at his touch. It was hard to tell, but there was something about the man and Erik asked the question at a whisper, “Are you a Guide?”

He nodded slowly, “And you’re a Sentinel.” His eyes were bright. “I’ve never met anyone else who was both.”

“Me neither,” Erik admitted. “I thought it was just me. I thought I was alone.”

The Guide stared up at him with bright eyes, “You’re not alone.”

Erik felt it when the Guide’s mind brushed against his and he put a hand over the shorter man’s, intertwining their fingers. He stepped forward, all but trapping their arms between their chests. “I can feel that.”

“I don’t usually… I’m not reading your mind, but I’m having trouble keeping my shields up. I want to touch it.”

They breathed together, synced, and Erik smiled softly at him, “You’re a Guide and a telepath. I can’t even imagine what you must be capable of. That’s amazing.” There was movement down by their feet and Erik caught sight of an extremely large Komodo dragon staring up at him. He went completely still at the sight of the large and thoroughly intimidating creature. But the lizard seemed unfazed by his presence and merely pressed itself close to the Guide’s leg.

“Yes, he’s mine,” the Guide whispered in reply to the question Erik hadn’t even articulated.

“I’ve never met a Guide with such an aggressive animal for a guardian,” Erik said.

“Some Sentinel’s find it off putting,” he admitted. He chewed on his lower lip briefly at the admission.

“What? Why?”

“I suppose they think a Guide ought to have a guardian more associated with being nurturing. Or they find it off putting that my guardian is very physically powerful.”

“How stupid.”

“It is, isn’t it?” he beamed up at Erik. “Where’s yours?”

Erik turned him slightly, his free hand resting on the Guide’s shoulder, “She’s behind me.”

“She’s beautiful,” the Guide breathed out when he caught sight of the red panda.

“Yes,” Erik agreed.

“Your mind is very tempting for me, Erik,” he admitted quietly. “Inviting.”

“What does it feel like?”

“It feels like falling.” He quieted to an almost inaudible whisper, “It feels like we’re compatible.”

“We must be,” Erik agreed. His hand slid from the Guide’s shoulder to the back of his neck. “I don’t know your name. I want to kiss you and I don’t know your name.”

“I haven’t told you my name?” the Guide inquired with a surprised laugh. “I’m so sorry. I’m Charles Xavier.”

“Charles Xavier,” Erik repeated. Charles Xavier. He knew that name. As the years had passed he’d come to despise his Guide, but in the immediate aftermath of his meeting with Kurt Marko, he’d asked Leo to look into the Guide and keep tabs on him. Leo, at Erik’s request, kept most of the information to himself. Erik did, however, know the name of the Guide that had rejected him.

The Guide leaned forward, but went still. His expression crumbled in on itself, eyes wide, as Erik’s desire and interest was rapidly flooded over with rage and repugnance.

“What?” Charles asked. “What?” he repeated, hurt and surprised. _Erik?_

Erik wrenched Charles’ hand off his chest. _No. Get out, get out, get out, get out. It’s too much. I don’t want you. Get out!_

“I don’t understand,” he said. His voice was as quiet as it had been before, but there was something small about it now.

“Get your hand off me and get your mind out of mine. Now.”

“Ok-okay,” he stuttered. “I just need a-“

“NOW!” Erik bellowed.

Charles winced at that, “Raven.” _Raven!_

“I just told you-”

“I need a minute!” Charles snapped. _I need help!_

“Charles?” a woman young appeared at his side. She peered at him and Charles, her interest turning to concern at whatever she saw on Erik’s face. “You need to calm down,” she advised Erik.

“I’ll calm down when he gets the fuck out of my mind,” Erik sneered.

She gave him a look of complete scorn before turning her attention to Charles. She placed a hand on his shoulder, “Charles?”

“I need you to help me to back out, Raven. I’m… I think I’m stuck,” he admitted.

“Get unstuck,” Erik demanded through clenched teeth.

Raven ignored him, “Okay, Charles,” she said with a practiced calm. “Take a deep breath and try to relax. What shape has your mind taken?”

“It was like a stream, but it changed when I tried to pull back. Now it’s like a bur,” he admitted.

A hint of surprise passed over her face, but she didn’t address his answer directly. “Okay. Carefully unhook the bur.”

“If you could possibly go a little faster,” Erik snapped.

“If you want him to risk accidentally ripping parts of your mind,” Raven said through clenched teeth. “Now you can be quiet during this difficult process or I can punch you in the face and we can finish while you’re unconscious.”

“Raven,” Charles chastised.

“You jumped off a fucking ship to save him from drowning and he’s being an asshole,” Raven retorted. “Now, are you unhooked?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Imagine yourself rolling backwards.”

Erik found himself imagining it as well. It was a slow and gentle withdrawal, but something within him throbbed when Charles had fully withdrawn.

“I’m out,” Charles whispered.

“What the hell happened?” Raven demanded.

Charles shook his head. “Erik, this is my sister Raven. Raven, this is Erik. He’s a Mutant.”

“Oh,” she frowned a little, “I’m sorry, I thought you were a Sentinel. They don’t tend to be very accepting of his mutation.”

“He is a Sentinel.”

“I see.” Raven glanced between them but after a moment decided not to inquire further. She hesitated for a moment, “Agent McTaggert wants to talk to you.”

Charles nodded, “You should come too.”

Erik’s eyes narrowed, “Oh, should I?”

Charles shoulders dropped at his tone, but he nodded, “We have a common goal.”

“Oh?”

Charles nodded, “Yes. Stopping Shaw.”

Erik hesitated briefly, but ultimately decided he could suffer the presence of his Guide if it brought him closer to killing Schmidt. “Stay out of my mind.”

“I will,” Charles promised. “I apologize that I made you uncomfortable with my loss of control.”

Erik frowned at him and wondered if he was obtuse or if maybe he simply regretted his decision all those years ago. Raven’s expression turned scornful again and she pointedly put an arm around her brother’s shoulders.

“Come on,” she said.

Charles allowed Raven to tug him away, but he cast an anxious glance backwards until he saw that Erik was following. Erik kept himself a few feet behind the pair, pausing only to pick up the red panda and hold her to his chest as he walked. She pressed her nose against the side of his neck and he let his fingers tangle in her fur. He wondered if she thought him harsh. He wondered if she thought he ought to offer his Guide match a second chance.

He couldn’t deny that he was tempted. But nothing was worth bonding himself to someone like Charles Xavier. He wanted no ties to a man like that. He resolved then that he would at least offer a veneer of politeness. Charles had the potential to be a powerful ally. He was a powerful Guide and a powerful Mutant. Erik felt a stab of yearning because it was so clear that they were made for each other. But nothing would come of it.

Moira McTaggert was obviously aware of who he was, because she startled when he was introduced.

“Erik Lehnsherr?” she repeated.

He offered her a wide smile that he knew very well was off putting, “At your service.”

She frowned a little, and tilted her head, “Erik Lehnsherr the Nazi hunter?”

“One and the same.”

She cast a glance in Charles’ direction, “This is the man you pulled out of the water?”

“Obviously,” Erik retorted, slowly and with obvious disdain.

“You’re a Nazi hunter?” Raven interjected. “Like you track down Nazi’s and arrest them?” Some of the scorn ebbed from her expression. Erik thought it curious that she seemed intrigued and perhaps approving, and he took a moment to wonder at it.

Moira coughed, “He doesn’t exactly arrest them.”

Raven’s eyes widened, “Ah.”

“Rumor has it you’re a Sentinel,” Moira continued.

“He is,” Charles confirmed.

“And a Mutant?”

“That too,” Erik agreed.

She glanced between him and Charles, but Erik refused to look in Charles direction and merely continued to stare at Moira.

“What’s your interest in Sebastian Shaw?” she asked after a moment. “He seems outside your normal purview.”

“Not at all,” he assured her.

“Is Sebastian Shaw a sympathizer or something?” she asked.

“The man you know as Shaw went by Klaus Schmidt during the war.”

She blinked in surprise, “What? Are you sure?”

He narrowed his eyes, “He isn’t someone I’m likely to forget, Agent McTaggert.”

“Right,” she agreed. “Of course.”

There was a long pause, everyone either flustered or off kilter. Raven looked to Charles, frowning a little when he didn’t offer a comment to break the tension or redirect the conversation. His attention was pinned to the animal guardian at his feet.

“Perhaps we should regroup back at Division X?” Raven suggested.

“What is that?” Erik asked.

“It’s the CIA facility we’ve been operating out of while trying to catch Shaw. Schmidt,” she amended. “Whatever his name is.”

Erik’s sharpened on Moira, “You’re CIA?”

She nodded, “Are you… joining us?”

“It might be wise to pool resources,” Erik agreed after a moment. He looked at Charles and tried to force aside the unhappiness he felt. He wanted, sharply, and it was like something throbbing in the very center of his chest. He wanted him so badly and he hated him. “And I suppose I owe Guide Xavier a debt. He risked harm to pull me out of the water.”

“There is no debt,” Charles said quietly, subdued. “But you’re of course welcome to join us.”


	3. Chapter 3

Part 2

Erik followed Charles to Division X and proceeded to fail spectacularly at keeping his distance from his Guide match.

They feel into a sort of tense, but still obviously desired, companionship. Despite his intentions, Erik found himself orbiting his Guide match. He wanted him, badly, and didn’t know what to do about it. He wouldn’t give the man a second chance, but he couldn’t make himself fully shun his own Guide. They gathered others around them, found Mutants who were lost, and gave them a purpose. It felt like the beginning of a pack, which both alarmed and thrilled Erik. If, every now and then, Erik found himself looking at Charles with longing, he did his best to ignore it and ignore the mirrored desire he saw in the Guide’s face.

They were doing a fairly good job of not talking about it, until the evening after they’d been forced to retreat from the facility. Everyone was on edge after Angel’s betrayal and Darwin’s almost death, but Charles managed to rally everyone for a nice dinner and music. The tension seeped from the room and Erik found himself relaxing in the chair as he watched Raven cajole Hank into dancing with her. The radio played the latest hits and watching Raven try to show Hank how to dance had the others laughing good naturedly.

Charles watched them, attentive and concerned, but still removed from their merrymaking. Erik found himself watching the Guide and it took him a moment to realize that Charles had switched to watching him instead. Charles offered a hopeful smile, which Erik somehow returned. Charles seemed to take it as an invitation and moved to take the empty chair beside Erik. He continued to smile and Erik allowed his own happiness to show on his face.

“It’s good to see them smiling.”

Charles nodded in agreement. “And I’m glad to see that Darwin has suffered no ill effects.”

“His adaptation is amazing,” Erik agreed. “All of their Mutations are amazing.” His smile slipped a little, “Even Angel.”

Charles expression dimmed.

“I know you spoke to Agent McTaggert about her.”

“I did.”

“How much trouble is she in?” he asked softly.

“At least as much trouble as anyone working with Shaw, I imagine,” Charles said. “But the CIA isn’t an organization that takes betrayal lightly.”

“What can we do to protect her?”

Charles blinked in surprise, “You want to protect her?”

“She’s our responsibility.”

“She left our protection to take up with Shaw. She knew who and what he was when she went,” Charles argued. “She knew he had tortured you. She knew he was a Nazi.”

“She made a mistake. She’ll come back. What I want to know is if you going to accept her when she does?” Erik asked.

“Me?” Charles asked in surprise.

“It’s your house.”

“I’m surprised at you, Erik,” Charles admitted.

“She’s afraid,” he said quietly. “She might be with them, but she isn’t one of them. She belongs with us.”

“You’re been gathering these Mutants around you like a pack. She chose to leave of her own volition. I expected your response to be far harsher,” Charles said.

“She belongs here, with us,” Erik said simply.

“So you would forgive her.”

“Yes.”

“You would forgive her for choosing to go with Shaw and yet you cannot forgive me for whatever offense I offered?” Charles asked quietly.

“Charles,” Erik warned him.

“I’ve been waiting for the right moment and this seems as good as any,” he said. “I wondered if we could talk about what happened when we first met.”

“No.”

“Erik, I-“

“No.”

“If you would just tell me why…”

“No!” he shouted.

Raven and Hank stopped their antics, turning to stare at the shout. Alex, Darwin and Sean’s laughter and smiles dried up. None of them moved or spoke, attention moving back and forth between Charles and Erik.

Charles eyes were wide, alarmingly wet, and he spoke in a quiet rush “I only-”

“Enough of your crocodile tears! You think you can just change your mind all these years later, like I’ll suddenly be so grateful to have you that I’ll forget that you found me unsuitable for all the wrong reasons?! You’re a hypocrite,” Erik continued.

“What?”

“I’m still a Jew, Charles,” Erik spat his voice as spiteful as he could possibly make it. He held up a finger, ready to count the charges of unsuitability Kurt Marko had laid against him.

“I know that you’re-”

“I’m still _damaged_ , Charles,” he continued, holding up a second finger. “I’m still not ashamed of my relationship with Magda or the fact that we had a child out of wedlock. And it is beyond anything that you would condemn me for being a Mutant when you one yourself!” He held up a single hand, and wiggled his fingers. “Five points of incompatibility. We can’t have such a nice boy from a nice Christian family sullied by an unsuitable Sentinel, can we?! I haven’t changed! And if you have indeed become better as a man than you were as a youth than I congratulate you, but it’s too little too late and I will not have you!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Charles shouted back.

Erik laughed, harsh and mocking, “Did you never even bother to learn the name of Sentinel match?”

“I… I never had a Sentinel match.” He turned to look at Raven. His eyes widened at the expression on her face, “Raven?”

“Charles, I…”

Charles stared at her, open mouthed, and blinking rapidly, “Raven?” he asked, his voice small and unsure. “Was I matched?”

“I never knew the specifics, but I overheard Kurt say…”

“Say what?” Charles demanded.

“I overheard Kurt say something about an unsuitable match,” she admitted at a whisper. “It was years ago and I never knew the details. I never knew it was Erik.”

Charles was still for a moment, hands griping the arm rests of the chair. Erik’s gaze darted between Raven and Charles, a horrible feeling building up somewhere in the center of his chest.

Charles moved suddenly, upright and running. He crashed into the door and was halfway up the stairs before anyone managed to go after him. Erik threw himself after Charles, part instinct and part desperate need to know if this was moving in the direction it seemed. Raven was directly behind him, a shouted command over her shoulder prevented the others from following her.

By the time Erik caught up to Charles, it was obvious that he’d already thrown himself against the locked door more than a few times. He slammed into it again shoulder first, and the door splintered enough for him to force it open. Raven shoved past Erik, but hesitated at the threshold.

“What is this room?”

“Our stepfather’s office,” she said quietly. Her attention was on her brother as he ripped through the desk drawers. “It’s been locked since he left. We never bothered to go through his stuff.”

A sound of hurt escaped Charles and Erik closed the distance between them. Wide eyed, Charles held up a crinkled letter.

“…It is our pleasure and honor to inform you that you’ve been matched with Erik Lehnsherr…” his voice caught. He raised his eyes from the letter and stared at Erik in horror. “I wasn’t yet eighteen when this letter came. My stepfather had you declared unsuitable.” Charles exhaled sharply, “Those things you were saying. Those were the five examples he gave to demonstrate lack of suitability.”

“Yes.”

“Judiasm. Auschwitz. Being a mutant. Having a relationship with a non-Guide. Having a child out of wedlock.”

“His objection to Magda was that she’s Romani,” Erik admitted quietly.

“And your child?”

Erik bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, “She died.”

Charles just stood there, devastation on his face, and stared at the letter. The red panda appeared behind Erik and cautiously closed the distance between them. Charles only noticed when she dug her claws into his pants and pulled herself upright. He swallowed thickly, but looked down at her. She made a soft noise and after a questioning glance to Erik, Charles bent down and picked her up. She pressed her cold nose against his neck and Erik watched as some of the distress ebbed from the Guide’s expression. Since he couldn’t seem to make himself move or speak, at least his animal guardian was there to offer his Guide some comfort.

It took Erik a moment to realize that Charles was crying. It was like being stabbed in the chest. Erik took a step closer, but Raven moved before he could. Charles jerked away from Raven when she reached out to touch him.

“Charles,” she objected.

“You knew and you never told me!”

“He was unsuitable,” she said desperately, hurt and regret plain on her face. “What point was there with telling you? It would only have hurt you.”

“He isn’t unsuitable!”

“I didn't know that!”

“You should have known that our stepfather was far from qualified to make such a determination. You had no right to keep this from me.”

“I was trying to protect you!” she shouted. “I was afraid he’d be like the others- the ones who just want you for your power or your money… or even worse that he’d find out you were a Mutant. I was wrong,” she admitted, “But I’m not sorry that I tried to protect you. None of them ever had your best interests at heart, Charles! Not Kurt. Not the Westchester pack. Not even your mother. You’ve always looked out for me and I just wanted to take care of you in return!”

“I think I’d like to be alone for a while.”

“Charles,” Raven whispered.

He shook his head, “I understand you were trying to protect me. I think I’d like to be alone for a while.” His eyes were glued to the ground as he walked from the room. He kept the red panda in his arms and the Komodo dragon followed after them.

Erik turned his attention to Raven after Charles left and all her defiance shriveled into shame.

“I’m sorry. Charles is right. I should have known that whatever Kurt found unsuitable about you was probably bullshit. I should have looked into it or told Charles about it.”

Erik considered her apology for a moment and finally nodded. “Thank you. I don’t fault you for trying to protect him.”

“We’ve always protected each other,” she said. “But as he got older and I saw how everyone just wanted to use him… I had to protect him from them.”

“Charles is a powerful Guide,” Erik said quietly. “It isn’t unusual that you would want to protect him.”

“It was more than a want. I had to,” Raven said. “I want to ask you something.”

Erik nodded.

“You don’t have a territory. You don’t have a pack. That’s unusual for a Sentinel of your strength.”

Erik shrugged, but didn’t contradict her.

“Is that intentional on your part?” she wondered.

“I’ve been classified as adrift, a Sentinel without a territory or pack, for years. I have a Guide in my pack, but it’s just the two of us and we’re rarely in the same place. He spends most of his time in Europe. It’s an unusual arrangement, but it suits us well. You asked me about Nazi hunting when we first met….”

“The Guide is your pack is a Nazi hunter as well?”

“Leo is technically in re-acquisitions,” Erik explained with a fond smile. ‘Though he prefers the term thief.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Leo has been tracking, stealing and returning artwork and other valuables stolen from Jewish families by the Nazi’s. He isn’t a Mutant, but there are some allegiances that are more important than such distinctions.”

“I haven’t actually gotten to my question yet.”

“I know,” Erik said. “And I think I know what you want to ask. Go ahead.”

She took a deep breath, “Do you consider yourself the Alpha Sentinel of Mutantkind?”

“I think,” he began slowly, “And this is just a personal theory, but I think that I came online as a Sentinel when no Mutant ever has before in order to protect our people.”

“That wasn’t exactly an answer.”

“My answer is yes.”

“And that would make Charles the Alpha Guide of Mutantkind.”

“It would,” Erik agreed. “Which would make you part of his pack. And possibly explain your overwhelming need to protect him.”

“What happens now?”

Erik was quiet for a moment, “I don’t know.”

“Are you still angry with him?”

“I’m angry with the situation,” Erik admitted. “But also relieved. I don’t want to spend my life wanting a man who despises me. I don’t want to spend my life yearning for a Guide such as the man I thought your brother was. That Charles is not the man I thought he was is a gift beyond description.”

A tentative smile spread over Raven’s features, “If you go out the front door, turn right and head towards the woods you’ll find a path. If you take the path after about twenty minutes you’ll come across an old Oak tree. Charles always goes there when he’s upset.”

“Thanks.”

Following Raven’s advice, Erik came upon Charles fairly quickly. His Guide match was sitting beneath a massive oak, the Red Panda still in his arms and the Komodo dragon curled up at his side. The lizard was the first to notice Erik’s approach, watching him for a moment before turning his attention back to Charles. The Guide only seemed to notice Erik when he was sitting down beside him.

Charles turned to look at him and though he was no longer crying, it was obvious that he had been.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Erik.”

Erik put a hand on his cheek, and moved it to hold the back of his neck. Charles seemed to be on the verge of tears again, so Erik pulled him into his arms.

“Come here.”

Charles fell forward into his embrace and clung to him.

“I won’t ask you to forgive me,” Charles mumbled into his shirt, “But-”

“There’s nothing to forgive. This isn’t your fault,” Erik murmured.

“So you’re not angry at me?” Charles asked in wonder, pulling back enough to look at Erik’s face.

“You can’t tell?”

“You told me to stay out of your mind. I’ve been shielding against you since then,” Charles admitted quietly.

Erik considered the Guide briefly, “That must have been difficult considering your strength as a Guide and your telepathy.”

Charles shrugged.

Erik leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Charles, “Thank you for respecting my wishes.”

Charles let out a ragged breath.

“But it’s no longer necessary.”

Charles inhaled sharply.

“Let down your shield,” Erik invited.

“I can’t,” Charles managed after a moment.

“I am not unsuitable,” Erik said. “And we are matched. We are uniquely suited, Charles. Do you not feel it?”

“If I let down my shield, my mind will reach for yours and we’ll bond.”

“Why do you hesitate?” Erik wondered. He kept Charles in his embrace as they talked, heads still pressed together. The feel of his Guide, the sound of his voice and his scent was enticing. Erik wanted badly to press his mouth against his cheek, his throat and his mouth, but he kept himself still.

“You are not unsuitable for me,” Charles whispered, “But I cannot help but fear that I am unsuitable for you.”

Erik jerked back, hands on the Guide’s shoulders as he stared at him in surprise, “How can you say such a thing?”

“Do you really want such a man as Kurt Marko for a father in law? I am as estranged from him as a can possibly be, but it’s complicated. There are nuisances to the estate and the company… I’ve been unable to fully disentangle him from my life. And the Westchester pack…” Charles sighed. “You are adrift. If we bond, you’ll be part of the pack and under the authority of their Alpha.”

“The moment you accept me, I’m going to declare myself the Alpha Sentinel of Mutantkind. You are the Alpha Guide. Neither of us will be beholden to the pack.”

Charles mouth opened in shock, “What?”

“This is our purpose, Charles. We’re the protectors of our people,” Erik said.

“And my stepfather?”

“He deserves no consideration,” Erik said. “I assure you, the fact that you’re unlucky enough to have that pitiful excuse for a man as a stepfather is not a reflection on who you are.”

“Oh.”

“You are my Guide match,” Erik said firmly. “I would have you as my Guide. Will you have me?” Erik asked.

Charles watched him and Erik allowed it without interruption. He didn’t take the delay personally. He somehow knew that Charles would accept him and simply basked in the attention his Guide gave him. The other man began to smile, slowly, and Erik echoed the expression.

“You are my Sentinel match,” he murmured. “I would have you as my Sentinel.” He tilted his head a little. “Are you ready?”

Erik met his gaze evenly. “I’m ready.”


	4. Chapter 4

Part 3

In a completely uncharacteristic bout of optimism, Erik had expected that everything would slot together perfectly. Charles was a Guide and a telepath and their minds meshed together without any struggle. Erik completed his imprint, a chaste kiss to his Guide’s wrist for taste, and their mental link was solid.

Their physical relationship stalled out after the kiss. Charles had stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes in the aftermath of their kiss and done nothing. Erik had waited for a sign, but Charles had simply looked at him. It was a disappointment, to be sure, but a platonic relationship with his Guide was already more than he’d ever thought possible. Erik wasn’t happy with it, but he had no intention of pressuring his Guide for something he didn’t want to give and their bond seemed healthy enough without a sexual component. He was disappointed, but he did his best to keep it to himself.

And in what was beginning to be normal for them, neither of them spoke about it.

Erik declared himself and Charles the Alpha pair for Mutantkind. The local Alpha pair came around the mansion to complain, both that he’d ignored his banishment and that he’d dared to make such a declaration. Erik had been fully prepared to accept the challenge the Alpha Sentinel of the Westchester pack was gearing up to mount, but instead his Guide unleashed a verbal diatribe on the man that saw him flee the mansion.

In that moment Erik wanted nothing more than to get on his knees before his Guide and take him into his mouth. He wanted to express his amazement with his tongue and his hands, but instead he pushed aside the desires and grinned at the man.

“Well done, my Guide.”

Charles was flushed with pleasure at the praise. “It’s the least of what I want to do to him. But at least I’m no longer entangled with his pack and the mansion is our territory now.”

“Do you seek revenge on my behalf or yours?”

“Is there a difference?” Charles asked, peering up at Erik with a shy smile.

Erik brushed the back of his fingers against Charles cheek, a common expression of affection from an Alpha Sentinel. Charles leaned into it and for a moment Erik hoped, but once again Charles kept quiet.

“Erik?”

“Ja?” Erik murmured, his gaze pinned to Charles face.

“Have you thought about what you want to do after we defeat Shaw?”

“I have not,” Erik admitted.

“I was thinking maybe we should stay here?”

“Here?” Erik asked in surprised. “What would we do?”

“Well I have some ideas about that- but primarily I was thinking this could be our home.”

“Ah,” Erik said slowly. “You prefer not to be dragged about the world as some sort of bounty hunter/assassin?”

Charles’ mouth tightened as he perceived a hint of mockery in Erik’s tone. If Erik was honest with himself, there was a hint of ridicule in his tone. That they should hide themselves away in this monstrosity of a house seemed cowardly to him. Of course he was completely ignoring, or conveniently forgetting, that he himself had already declared his life was unfit for a Guide. He’d refused to allow Leo to remain with him long-term for that exact reason. But with Charles, old hurts easily rose to the surface.

“You like your life here? In this place?”

“I was living in Cambridge before all this began, as you well know, and I only came here because we needed a safe place to train and hide from Shaw.”

“But now you want to stay here.”

“This could be a place for us. A place for Mutants,” Charles said earnestly.

“I will not advocate for our people to hide themselves away from the world, Charles.”

“But-”

“It’s our responsibility to protect them.”

“We can use this place to protect them!” Charles said.

“I want to fight for them!” Erik corrected. “And you want to hide away here and hope the world decides that out of sight equals out of mind. A war is coming, Charles. This is why we’re here.”

“Who are we fighting in this war?”

Erik hesitated.

“The world?” Charles suggested tightly.

“I’m not afraid to do what must be done to protect Mutantkind from the rest of the world.”

“May I remind you that the biggest threat we currently face is from one of our own kind?”

“Schmidt is an aberration,” Erik spat.

“All I’m saying is that we don’t need to make war-”

“I have no intention of sitting here, hiding in an ode to the vanity of a man like your father, and waiting for them to come for us.”

“Ode to the vanity of a man like my father?” Charles demanded, his mouth tight. “What the hell do you know about my father? He was a Mutant and a good man! He was the only person who was never, not once, afraid of my power.”

“I meant Marko,” Erik admitted quietly.

“I’ll thank you not to refer to Kurt Marko as my father,” Charles said tightly. “This house is not his and while he may have lived here for a time, this house never belonged to him. It was my father’s. And now it’s mine.” Charles continued to glower at him, “Pardon me for thinking that it might be some comfort for you to know that we had a home, that we had a place to offer others like us with nowhere to go. Pardon me for thinking that there might be some purpose to us beyond making war.”

“Charles-” Erik began, half remorseful and half defiant.

“And pardon me for thinking that my input might be wanted.” He turned, his face tight with anger, and headed for the stairs.

“Charles, stop.” Erik called.

Charles ignored him.

“Come back here!” Erik demanded.

Charles ignored him and Erik did not chase him. They spent the day apart. Charles kept himself hidden wherever he had retreated to and Erik did not seek him out. The others kept their distance from him as well, wary and tense. Charles was absent from dinner and after the meal Erik headed outside to look up at the sky and smoke.

Darwin joined him after a while. He was silent, merely offering a nod of thanks when Erik offered him a cigarette. He used his power to float the lighter and Darwin grinned at the display, leaning forward to light the cigarette.

“I thought perhaps you’d come out here to chastise me.”

“You thought wrong,” Darwin said easily.

“Why did you come out here then?”

“To keep you company.”

“I don’t require company. You’d be better served to look for Charles if you find yourself wanting to sooth someone.”

“Why? Because he’s a Guide so he’s more receptive to that kind of thing? Because you’re a Sentinel and you don’t need anyone? Or,” Darwin said, his voice lowering, “Because you think any kindness someone offers you is a waste?”

For a moment Erik was angry, but there was no guile or mockery in Darwin’s expression and he let the feeling ebb with a sigh. “Maybe,” he admitted.

“Do you want to talk about your argument with Charles?”

“I suppose we have a different view for the future of Mutantkind. We have different opinions on our purpose.”

“Are they irreconcilable?”

“Maybe,” Erik admitted.

“From what I’ve observed, you both want to protect Mutants. That isn’t a bad starting place,” Darwin argued.

“I want to protect us. Charles wants us to hide away from the world,” Erik said bitterly. “I don’t care how gilded it is, I won’t let this place become a prison for us.”

“And Charles would?”

“Not intentionally. Charles still likes to think of people as fundamentally good.”

“And you don’t?”

“No,” Erik said. “I don’t.” He met Darwin’s gaze evenly, “Do you?”

Darwin shrugged, “I suppose I’d be somewhere in the middle. I don’t think people are good or bad- some are good and some are bad and some are both. We’re just human. Complicated, I guess.”

“But we’re not human. We are gods among insects. We’re better than them,” Erik said argued, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“We are human,” Darwin corrected.

Erik shook his head.

“Erik,” Darwin’s voice raised just a little, just enough that Erik’s train of thought derailed and he really looked at the other man, “We’re not above anyone else.”

Erik bit back his automatic response and simply looked at the other man.

“When one group of people start thinking that they are better than everyone else… when they start thinking of themselves as gods among insects-”

“If you are about to make some analogy based on things you think you know about me or my past-”

Darwin interrupted him, “I was thinking more about my own life than yours, Erik,” he said simply.

Erik quieted for a long moment, “You think Charles is right.”

“I think you’re missing the point,” he said.

“What is the point?”

“That we aren’t any better or any worse than everyone else.”

“We-”

“Sebastian Shaw and Moira McTaggert.”

“What?” Erik asked in surprise.

“One is a Mutant, one is not.”

“Yes,” Erik agreed cautiously.

“One of them is a god and one of them is an insect?” Darwin asked quietly.

“Shaw and McTaggert are aberrations. Outliers. Both of them. Shaw is insane and McTaggert is….” He hesitated briefly, “unusually accepting.”

“Maybe,” Darwin said. “Maybe your right. Maybe we are the better people. But if there is one outlier, whose say that there aren’t two? Or three? Or hundreds? You want to know what I really think?” Darwin offered.

Erik blinked, briefly surprised by an internal revelation. He smiled a little, and nodded. “Yes. You’re my beta. I want to know what you think.”

“I’m not a Sentinel,” Darwin objected, briefly off balance by the unexpected turn in the conversation.

“Maybe you aren’t a Sentinel,” Erik said thoughtfully as he studied the other man, “But we have something of a pack here and you’re my beta. I want to know what you think.”

“I think you’re afraid of seeing the past repeat itself. I think you’re so afraid of it that you’d rather start a battle we might not even have to fight rather than risk that happening.”

Erik let out a ragged breath. He couldn’t speak.

“Neither of my parents were Mutants,” Darwin commented at a murmur. “What about yours?”

“No.”

“When you first told us about why you wanted to kill Shaw, the first thing you said was that he’d killed your mother.”

“Yes,” Erik whispered.

“Out of all the crimes that man committed, that is the first one you listed.”

“Yes,” Erik repeated.

“Because you loved her.”

“Yes.”

“And Shaw, a Mutant… a god,” Darwin continued, “Killed her. An insect.” Erik turned to face Darwin, rage his in expression, but Darwin held up both of his hands. “I’m sorry.” He was quiet for a long moment. “I don’t think less of your mother because she wasn’t a Mutant. Do you?”

Erik was quiet.

“Do you?” Darwin prodded gently.

Faced with his own hypocrisy, Erik couldn’t do anything other than tell the truth. “No,” he admitted. “I never wanted her to be anything other than what she was.”

Darwin studied him for a moment, “Do you want to be alone?”

It was then that Erik realized that there were tears on his cheeks, “No.” He was quiet for a moment before he offered Darwin the pack of cigarettes, “Another?”

“Sure. Thanks,” Darwin replied. He smiled when Erik repeated the trick with the lighter, “You’re something else, man.”

“I think your mutation is pretty fantastic too,” Erik replied.

Darwin chuckled, “That’s not really much of a compliment. You think every mutation is fantastic.”

“True,” Erik agreed.

They stayed outside for a while longer, neither saying much, and by the time they returned to the house everyone else had already gone to bed. Erik passed Charles’ room on his way to his own and for a moment he contemplated knocking, but after a moment he decided to let the man sleep.

Charles continued to avoid him the next day and Erik allowed it. His mind was still heavy after his conversation with Darwin and he wanted to allow his thoughts to settle before they spoke again. Erik excused himself from training with the others after lunch and made his way to the library to make use of the telephone. He winced a little at the thought of the telephone bill, but made the call anyway.

“Hello?” a voice answered on the fourth ring.

“Hallo, Leo.”

“Erik,” Leo replied. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you for a while. Is everything okay? You’re not still in Argentina, are you?”

“Ich habe ihn getroffen,” Erik blurted. _I met him._

“Wem?” _Who?_ Leo asked.

“My Guide.”

Leo was quiet for a long moment, “Wie? Was ist passiert?” _How?_ _What happened?_

“Wir sind eins.” _We are one._

“Erik,” Leo said quietly.

“He isn’t what I thought he was. His position was badly misrepresented.”

“I’m glad,” Leo replied. “Are you in England then?”

“Nein. Ich bin in New York,” Erik corrected. _No. I am in New York._

Leo let out an annoyed sigh, “I wasn’t informed he left Oxford. Tell me about him? Everything I knew about him was either untrue, apparently, or boring.”

“Er ist ein Mutant.” _He is a Mutant._

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Leo said after a moment.

“Our mandate is the protection of Mutantkind.”

Leo was quiet for a long moment, “I’m glad that you are no longer adrift. You don’t need to be polite about this, Erik. If I no longer have a place in your pack, simply say so.”

“No,” Erik denied.

“I’m not a Mutant and I don’t think either of us ever imagined this would be a long term solution,” Leo said gently. “I’m not bitter about it.”

“You’re a member of my pack,” Erik hissed. “I forced you online-”

“Not this again,” Leo objected, “Erik, what happened wasn’t your fault-”

“And I’m not leaving you without protection while there is some kind of Russian berserker interested in you.”

Leo sighed, but didn’t argue the point. “What does your Guide think about this?”

“Ich weiss nicht,” Erik said. _I don’t know._

“Erik,” Leo said.

“We haven’t been communicating very well,” Erik admitted.

Leo sighed again, “Erik, you try me.”

The comment made him smile, “Ich weiss.” _I know._

“Speaking of Russian’s, I’m going to be out of touch for a while. I have to go east for an assignment.”

“Oh?” Erik asked, his tone hardening. “I’ve already made myself clear on this, Leo. I don’t like you working for the CIA.”

“Yes, well, despite their bullheadedness, they have their uses. I have a lead.”

“On a name from your list?” Erik asked. “Who?”

“Nicht meins,” Leo said quietly. “Deiner.” _Not mine. Yours._

“What name?”

“Rudi Teller.”

“The Butcher from Belsen,” Erik murmured. A feeling of rage spread through his body. “Where?”

“It’s not confirmed.”

“Wo?” _Where?_ Erik demanded. “Leo, where?”

“Erik,” Leo raised his voice just a bit, “I don’t know where he is. I have a lead on his niece.”

“Wo?” _Where?_

“The niece? East Berlin.”

“I’m coming. I’ll meet you at our usual spot.”

“No,” Leo said sharply. “Erik, no!”

“I’m coming,” Erik bit out.

“Listen to me,” Leo said gently. “I need you to trust me, okay? Don’t come yet. If there is anything to this, I’ll get in touch with you. I can’t take you on a CIA op into East Berlin with me.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve refused to name my Alpha and if you show up, they’ll know. Second, you’re too powerful a Sentinel to get in and out of East Berlin with no one noticing.”

“I don’t like you going alone.”

“I’m safer alone,” Leo said.

Erik let out a soft sigh, “Please be careful, Leo.”

“Always,” Leo promised. “Now, tell me something about your Guide besides that he’s a Mutant.”

“He dresses like a ninety year old man,” Erik said. “He always seems to have a cup of tea in his hand. He likes chess.”

Leo chuckled, “I hope I can meet him soon.”

“Me too,” Erik agreed.

“Erik,” Leo said carefully, “Is your bond platonic?”

“It is.”

“Why?”

“He hasn’t… he doesn’t…” Erik hesitated. “When we did the imprint, I chose the wrist for taste as is traditional. I waited for him… but he didn’t say or do anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“It is for the Guide to indicate such things,” Erik said. “As the Sentinel, I follow his lead.”

“Ah,” Leo said quietly. “That isn’t quite the way packs in America tend to do it, Erik.”

“Oh?” Erik asked.

“Usually the Sentinel takes the lead in such things.”

“The Guide merely goes along?” Erik asked in surprise and distaste.

“No,” Leo denied. “No Sentinel would force their Guide into an unwanted sexual relationship. But Guide’s in the US are taught to let their Sentinel initiate such things. You may have been waiting for a sign from him while he was waiting for a sign from you.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want me,” Erik murmured quietly, more to himself than to Leo.

“I don’t know,” Leo said. “But you should talk to him about it. With words,” Leo said. “Don’t avoid him or hint around. Be blunt about it.”

“I’ll try,” Erik agreed. “I should probably go. The phone bill.”

“Give me a number I can reach you at,” Leo said. “I’ll call before my mission.”

Erik gave Leo the number for the mansion and further implored Leo to be careful before hanging up the phone. He remained alone with his thoughts for a while, but after a few minutes decided to seek out his Guide. His quick check revealed that he wasn’t in the house and Erik bumped into Sean and Alex who informed him that his Guide had gone into town to pick up supplies.

Erik resigned himself to wait. But Charles never came back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Thanks for reading!

 

Part 4

Charles never came back. Darkness settled in and Erik began to feel prickly about his absence. First, he felt irritated and directed those feelings towards Charles. Then he just felt worried, which turned to terror when he tugged on their bond and felt nothing in return. He reached out, creeping along their bond, and found that himself experiencing something akin to the sensation of pushing against a brick wall.

 _Where are you?_ He called to his Guide, whispering along their link. _Come home. I’m sorry. I’m worried. Just come home._

But his words hit the wall, echoed back at him and faded away. Charles did not hear him

Erik pressed himself against the wall between them, but it did not budge. He examined the bond gently and found that it was badly damaged. He let out a slow, shaky breath, and turned his attention to the red panda at his feet.

“Do you know where he is?” he asked hopefully.

She shook her head.

“Can you lead me to him?”

She shook her head again.

“Can you go to him at least? So he’ll know that I’m coming to find him?”

She let out a sad sound and stretched upwards, claws digging into his pants until he reached down to lift her into his arms.

For a moment he felt wild, feral, almost, with want for his Guide. But he reigned the feelings in. Such wildness did him little good without a direction to point it in.

Everyone sat gathered in the living room and Erik said nothing as everyone offered a theory on where Charles might be. Hank, Sean and Alex all had different ideas. Moira wanted to do another search of the town. Raven suspected the CIA had taken him, which just led to a side argument between her and Moira.

Despite that he knew the brick wall constructed between them was impenetrable, he continued to call out for his Guide.

_Where are you? I’m sorry. Tell me where you are. I’m sorry. I’ll come for you. I miss you. I’m sorry. Come home. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._

_Charles!_

Darwin sat beside Erik, quiet until the Sentinel looked at him, “I think we both know what’s happened to him.”

Erik nodded.

“What does that mean?” Raven demanded.

“I was too lax,” Erik said. “I knew he was angry, so I gave him his space. He should never have been alone. I shouldn’t have let any of you go anywhere alone.”

“We thought we were safe here,” Darwin argued. “It’s not your fault.”

“Charles is my Guide and he’s gone. Of course it’s my fault,” he said simply.   He met Darwin’s gaze evenly, “But why even go after Charles? It makes more sense to try to neutralize me or even Alex first.”

“Me?” Alex asked in surprise.

Darwin nodded in agreement, “You and Erik have the most obviously offensive powers.”

“No,” Raven said. “If he wanted to neutralize Charles he would have killed him, not taken him.”

“He doesn’t believe in killing other Mutants,” Moira said.

“But that isn’t true,” Alex objected. “He tried to kill Darwin.”

“He won’t try to kill Charles though,” Erik said. “Not unless he must.”

“I don’t think you can bank on that,” Alex began.

“Charles is exactly what Schmidt is talking about when he preaches superiority. For him, being just a Mutant isn’t enough. Charles is white and from a Christian family. He didn’t take him to kill him,” Erik insisted.

“Then why did he take him?” Raven demanded.

Erik hesitated, “To hurt us? Charles is a Guide- he’s very obviously the heart of us.”

“No,” Darwin said suddenly. “I mean yes, it’s a factor, but that’s not it. We’re thinking about this from the wrong direction. It isn’t about how we see Charles- but about how an outsider might see him.”

“What does that mean?” Moira asked.

“Charles is the Alpha Guide of Mutant kind,” Darwin said. “That’s what this is about.”

“Okay,” Sean said slowly, “I don’t get it.”

“If he can persuade Charles to support his cause,” Moira said slowly, “Then he thinks that other Mutants will follow. Will they?” she asked Erik.

“Probably,” Erik said after a moment. “He’s a very powerful Guide and he can be extremely compelling. People flock to him naturally. And all that is without an effort on his part, but his Guide gifts combined with his telepathy-” Erik cut himself off.

“What?” Moira demanded.

Erik exhaled slowly, “I haven’t addressed this directly with him, but I suspected that Charles probably has the ability to compel the formation of a pack around him. Many will flock to him because he’s the Guide, and those that don’t will be compelled to. Fuck!” Erik cursed loudly. “When I made the announcement I did it so that other Mutants would know they had an option besides Schmidt’s lunacy, but all I did was make Charles a target!”

“Erik,” Darwin said. “This isn’t your fault.”

“But Charles would never do that,” Raven objected. “He would never compel people to follow him. He hates everything Shaw stands for!”

Erik raised an eyebrow at her, “You have no idea what that man does to people.”

For a moment he thought she was going to argue, but she didn’t. “How are we going to get him back?”

“I had hoped he’d be able to reach out to me somehow, or perhaps even send his animal guardian,” Erik said.

Raven shook her head, “the komodo dragon will never leave Charles.”

“My own guardian is unable to find him,” Erik admitted, running his hands over the red panda briefly.

“Then we’re going to have to get him back ourselves,” Darwin said. “Let’s start with where Shaw might have taken Charles.”

It was easier said than done. But using Moira’s contacts and Erik’s knowledge of Shaw, they managed to learn about a house he kept under an alias in Florida. The plan was for Darwin to engage Azazel, Sean would engage Janos and Alex would do his best to try to keep Angel out of the fight. That left Raven and Moira to contend with Emma and their plan was to try to force her into her diamond form. Hank was charged with getting Charles to safety and Erik had his own longstanding plans for Schmidt.

Except nothing seemed right when they arrived. They split up in the large house and Erik followed the red panda, hoping she could lead him to Charles. He found his Guide duct tapped to chair, semi-conscious, with Shaw’s metal helmet on his head. He roused a little when he caught sight of Erik, but offered no reply to Erik’s questions as he tried to rip off his bindings.

Emma appeared just as he was taking the helmet off, Shaw and Azazel just a few steps behind her.

“No! Don’t!”

By the time that Erik realized her cry had been of fear and not of anger, the helmet was already off. Charles took it from Erik’s hands as he stood, his gaze pinned to Shaw, Emma and Azazel. Shaw and Azazel were still and unmoving, but Emma was trembling a little. She was struggling against something and it took her a moment to force out a single word.

“Stop.”

“No,” Charles said simply.

“Charles?” Erik said.

Charles ignored him.

“Please,” she begged.

“No,” he said again.

“Charles, what are you doing to them?” he demanded.

“Schmidt miscalculated,” Charles said evenly. “Oh, how he miscalculated.”

“What?”

“Tell him, Schmidt,” Charles invited calmly. He was so calm, in fact, that Erik was completely unnerved.  

“I thought I could take the Alpha Guide and mold him to my will,” Shaw said monotonously.

Charles shook his head.

“I thought I was stronger than him. I thought I could use him to ensure that the rest of Mutantkind followed me.”

“How did that work out for you?” Charles wondered idly.

“We were forced to try to contain him with the helmet. I am fool. I am weak,” Shaw said. “I am a monster. I am-“

“Stop it,” Erik said. “Shut up!” he roared at him. He took a deep breath, “Charles, stop it!”

“Stop what?” Shaw asked. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Charles…”

When Charles next spoke, he used his own voice, “He always thought of you as his protégé, you know. He imagined that once he had me you’d follow and with both of us- he knew that all of Mutantkind would follow us. He had it planned out so clearly,” Charles let out a humorless laugh. “Here I am, weak and soft, and so easy to hurt, to force you to do as they wanted. But you were wrong, weren’t you, Shaw?”

“I was wrong,” Shaw intoned.

Erik let out a ragged breath.

“What’s wrong, Erik?” Charles asked. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Here we are, surrounded with the tools you need for the war you want. Will you take them?”

“Charles,” Erik whispered, cautiously taking a step closer to him.

“You haven’t changed your mind, have you?” Charles challenged. “Are you not proud of me? You wanted me to be strong. You wanted me to fight.”

“This isn’t you,” Erik said softly. Once he was close enough to Charles, he pressed a hand to his Guide’s cheek.   “What did they do to you?”

“They thought they knew what they were doing. They put the helmet on me,” Charles said. “They isolated my mind from everything. It was so quiet, Erik. It was like I was dead. I tried to hold on, but my animal guardian faded away. And our bond,” Charles looked at him in remorse. “It’s badly damaged.”

“I know,” Erik murmured in agreement. Where the bond had thrummed between them, now lay only a half severed cord. “It can be fixed. We can fix it.”

“I thought maybe you were dead,” Charles admitted. “I thought you’d left me.”

“No,” Erik denied. “Never.” He cupped his face. “You’re my Guide.”

Charles tilted his chin up and Erik pressed their mouths together briefly. Charles seemed to deflate a little and Erik wrapped his arms around the Guide.

“You’re my Guide,” he promised. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything.”

“I wasn’t what you wanted,” Charles whispered. “I wasn’t a warrior.” He titled his head. “But now I am. They wanted to use me to hurt you and now they must die.”

“No!” Erik clutched his shoulders tightly, possibly too tightly, and shook Charles lightly. “Do you hear what you’re saying?”

“They must die.”

“Charles-”

“They threatened my Sentinel. They threatened our pack. Our people. They must be eliminated.”

Erik went completely still as he finally understood what he was witnessing. It was something he’d only ever heard of before in the form of rumors, or seemingly exaggerated stories meant to scare. Everyone always talked about what happened when Sentinel’s went wild, when they lost control. But so few talked about what happened to Guides. It wasn’t as common and perhaps it seemed less threatening. Charles stood before him and seemed completely calm. He engaged in conversation. He made eye contact. He made no moves towards physical violence. He seemed fine, but he wasn’t.

“You’re wild,” Erik whispered. “Feral.”

“I suppose I am,” Charles admitted. “Stand aside.”

Erik shook his head slowly, “No.”

“Stand aside,” Charles repeated.

“No,” Erik said. “You are not yourself and if you do this you will regret it forever.”

“I am the Alpha Guide of Mutantkind,” Charles said. He still seemed fairly calm, but there was ringing inflection as he spoke. It made Erik want to get on his knees before him. It made him want to make war in his name. It made him desperately want his Guide. “My will be done. I have passed my judgement. It will be carried out. Step aside.”

Erik stepped aside. He wrapped his arms around his Guide and dragged him away from them, moving towards the door.

“Raven!” he shouted, in the hopes that perhaps Charles would respond to his sister.

He blinked, abruptly realizing that he was on his back on the floor and his Guide was standing over him. Erik had no idea how he had gotten on the ground. Charles’ lips were pursed, a hint of annoyance in his expression.

“Have you betrayed me?” he wondered.

Erik let out a sharp gasp, “I never would and you know that.”

“I am your Guide. I should have your loyalty. Do I?”

“Yes,” Erik promised. “Always.” He moved to sit up, but stilled when the movement seemed to disturb Charles. “I am your Sentinel. I should have your trust. Do I?”

Charles blinked in surprise at the question.

“Do I?” Erik demanded.

“Yes,” Charles said after a long moment. “You do.”

Erik offered his hand and after a moment Charles pulled him to his feet. He placed his hands on the smaller man’s shoulders. ‘Than trust me when I tell you that this is not the way.”

“I’m doing this for you.”

“I was wrong,” Erik said. “This isn’t what I want.”

“I saw into his mind,” Charles whispered. “I know all his crimes. I know what he did to you in the past. I know what he would have made you do in the future- and what he would have done to me to ensure your obedience. I will spare Emma Frost and Azazel, though they do not deserve my mercy, if it will please you.”

“It will,” Erik said.

“But Shaw must die,” Charles said.

“Charles-” Erik began.

The Komodo dragon reappeared. Erik took it as a sign that the effects of the helmet were abating. He examined the bond between them and found that it had begun to strengthen itself. Charles and his animal guardian stared at each other.

“Okay,” Erik continued. “Let’s-”

The Komodo dragon reared on to its back legs, using its tail for balance, and clawed Charles in the thigh. Charles screamed and when he toppled backwards, the lizard pinned him. It happened in less than a second and for a moment Erik was too horrified to react, because never in his life had he heard of such a thing happening.

Out of the corner of his eye he realized that Emma, Azazel and Shaw were no longer still. Shaw went for the discarded helmet and Erik tackled him. Shaw shouted in anger and pain and for a moment Erik fully expected to die. Hands yanked him off Shaw and Darwin got between them, fully absorbing the blast Shaw tried to use against Erik.

“Can you hold him?” Erik demanded.

“I got him!” Darwin promised.

Erik turned towards Emma and Azazel, neither of whom moved under his gaze. Then he turned his attention back to his Guide. Charles was unmoving, the lizard still on top of him. Heart in his throat, Erik took a step closer. Raven grabbed his arm and tugged sharply.

“Wait,” she insisted.

“His animal guardian attacked him,” Erik whispered. He stared at her when he realized that the words hadn’t shocked her. “Has this happened before?”

Raven nodded.

“I don’t understand,” he whispered.

“Erik,” Raven said gently. “Charles isn’t like other Guides.”

“I know that.”

“No, you don’t. You think you do, but you have no idea. He’s special. He’s powerful.” She shook her head, “He’s too powerful.”

“What does that have to do with his animal guardian attacking him?” Erik demanded. “It’s supposed to protect him.”

“No,” Raven said gently. “Didn’t you ever wonder why a Guide had such an aggressive animal? Especially a Guide like Charles who dislikes violence and conflict so?”

“What are you saying?”

“It’s not there to protect Charles. It’s there to stop him. I assume that Charles lost control?”

Erik nodded.

“And the lizard lashed out at him?”

“It clawed his thigh,” Erik whispered. “I can’t just stand here-”

“You must,” Raven insisted.

The Komodo dragon backed off Charles suddenly, but remained next to him as he slowly sat up. The expression on his face was enough to prove that the wildness was gone- he looked around in horror and then stared at his own hands.

“Charles,” Erik whispered, taking a step closer.

Charles closed his eyes tightly.

Erik dropped to his knees beside his Guide and examined the freely bleeding scratches on his leg. They weren’t small, but they weren’t anywhere near as bad as he’d feared.

“Charles?” Erik reached out to touch his shoulder.

“Please take me home.”

“What?”

Charles let out a muffled sob, “Please take me home. I want to go home.”

Charles refused to speak and move out of Erik’s embrace as they traveled home. Erik lingered at the ramp of the plane long enough to watch Shaw be sedated before Moira took him away, with Darwin and Alex escorting their transfer. Emma, Azazel, Janos and Angel were gathered with Sean and Raven, talking quietly.

Once they were home, Charles allowed Hank to clean and dress his wounds before stealing himself away to his bedroom.

Erik steeled himself before following. He knocked on the door. “Can I come in?”

“Yes,” Charles called.

Erik entered, peering around his room briefly. He crossed the room and hesitated briefly, but sat down on the edge of Charles’ bed.

“I can never apologize enough for what I did to you,” Charles whispered, his gaze pinned to the ceiling. “I understand if you can’t forgive me.”

“Of course I forgive you.”

Charles stared at him in surprise.

“We haven’t been on the same page since we bonded and a lot of that is on me.”

Charles blinked a couple of times, “What?”

“I need to ask you something bluntly. Will you be honest with me?”

Charles nodded slowly.

“Do you prefer a platonic bond?”

His eyes widened at the question, but he kept his word and answered honestly. “No. Do you?”

“No,” Erik said and watched as surprise and happiness crossed over Charles’ face.

“Oh.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Charles nodded eagerly and Erik kissed him, slowly, deeply and in every way he’d wanted to since they bonded.

“Will you forgive me for the things I said when we quarreled?” Erik asked.

Charles worried his bottom lip.

“I was unfair,” Erik admitted. “And… I’m scared.”

Charles tilted his head a little.

“They don’t like us and they don’t understand us and that’s a bad combination,” he whispered. “They want us to register and-” his voice caught in his throat.

“I want to protect our people as badly as you do,” Charles promised. “I do.”

“I know,” Erik replied.

“But I can’t go to war with you. I can’t.” Charles whispered. “Even if I thought war was the right move…” He shook his head. “I lost control. And when I go wild…” Charles shook his head. “You’re my Sentinel and I would have hurt you to get what I wanted.”

“What is it that you want to do?” Erik asked softly.

Charles hesitated.

“Tell me,” Erik invited.

“I’m not advocating hiding away,” he insisted. “But I want to make this into a safe place. I want to make a school for people like us.”

“A school?” Erik asked in surprise.

Charles nodded. “There are mutant children with nowhere to go and no one to help them. I want to give them a safe place and teach them to understand and use their abilities among people who aren’t afraid of them.”

“A school,” Erik repeated.

“I want it so bad,” Charles admitted. “I know that it isn’t what you want, but can’t there be some way for us to compromise?”

Erik nodded.

Charles’ face let up with hope, “Really?”

“Really,” Erik promised. “I’m not going to promise that I won’t ever fight. But I do promise that I won’t leave.”

Charles seized him, kissing his mouth, and wrapping his arms around him.

“The one thing I want more than anything is to be with you,” Erik promised. “To stand with you. We are well suited, Charles. Maybe we don’t always agree, but we’re suitable.”

Charles nodded, his smile still bright. “We are,” he agreed.

“Go to sleep,” Erik advised gently. “We have time to sort out the rest.”

Charles curled up on his side, his face pillowed on Erik’s thigh, and drifted off to sleep. Erik carded a hand through his hair, still until the sounds of his Guide breathing changed as he gave into sleep.

“Sleep well,” he whispered. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”


End file.
